深夜。
　　下了飛機(jī)后，我拖著行李有些疲勞地邁向海關(guān)進(jìn)行檢查。
　　唔，現(xiàn)在的海關(guān)員都挺寬容的，應(yīng)該很快就可以過了吧，真想趕緊回家洗個(gè)澡抱著親愛的睡一覺。美國(guó)總部那兒的事兒總算解決了。我一邊等候著，一邊有些昏沉的想。
　　“喂，先生，到你了。”海關(guān)員不耐的聲音傳來。
　　“哦，對(duì)不起�！蔽一剡^神來，將行李在海關(guān)員面前拖晃著示意一下，“可以走了嗎？”
　　“先生，你是在質(zhì)疑我的職業(yè)道德嗎？”海關(guān)員皺了皺秀氣的眉毛，白皙的臉上因憤怒而泛著淡淡的紅，“這位先生，我對(duì)于你行李的合法性持懷疑態(tài)度�！�
　　這海關(guān)員真麻煩，我不就想早點(diǎn)回家嘛。不過他生氣的樣子真可愛。
　　我摸摸鼻子，訕訕地說：“那你想……”
　　“我給你次機(jī)會(huì)。坦白從寬。你有什么需要申報(bào)的嗎？”他直盯著我的眼睛問。
　　“沒有�！蔽易孕诺卣f。
　　“好，”他的聲音有些發(fā)冷，“請(qǐng)打開這只手提箱好嗎，我需要進(jìn)行檢查。”
　　“好的�！蔽覝\笑著回答。我這次去總部那兒匆忙，除了些必須用品什么都沒帶，還怕他檢查。
　　他氣沖沖地奪過箱子便開始檢查。
　　天，他彎腰時(shí)從海關(guān)服里露出的那一小截腰可真細(xì)真白，好想摸一把。他的神情真是專注，抿著的嘴唇真是漂亮，親上去想必滋味不錯(cuò)。
　　他在那兒檢查著，我在這兒YY著。
　　沒錯(cuò)，我是個(gè)g*a*y。
　　“先生——”他泛著得意的聲音將我拉回現(xiàn)實(shí)。
　　我瞥了眼箱子。他可真是十分仔細(xì)地檢查了一遍，所有的東西一會(huì)兒工夫就亂成了一團(tuán)。我覺得那箱子再也關(guān)不上了。
　　他手里拿著一個(gè)小瓶，應(yīng)該是從我箱底發(fā)現(xiàn)的，那不就是個(gè)發(fā)膠嘛。
　　“這是什么，嗯？”他臉帶譏諷地問道，“是香水吧。你剛才應(yīng)該申報(bào)，香水要上進(jìn)口稅的。”
　　“哦，不，長(zhǎng)官�！蔽椅⑿χf，“那只是發(fā)膠，一種奇特的混合物�！�
　　果不出所料，他并不相信我。
　　“你就聞一聞吧�！蔽掖叽俚�。
　　他寧可瓶蓋，把瓶子放到鼻子底下，襲來的味道使他相信我的話。幾分鐘后，我終于被放行，手提著寶貴的粉筆記號(hào)的行李，匆匆離去。
　　很快，他也面色不善地走出。
　　“染�！蔽乙话褤ё∷�，在他耳邊輕笑著說，“我可以認(rèn)為你是別扭地迎接我歸來嘛�！�
　　“離，你滾吧。”他拍我一巴掌，“我巴不得你滾遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)�；貋砀陕锇　！�
　　“染�！蔽屹r笑道，“這不美國(guó)總部那兒有事非得我去嘛，我也不是故意出差留你一個(gè)人在家里的�！�
　　“誰稀罕你？”他涼涼地說，“反正你一年里一半時(shí)間在出差，我獨(dú)守空閣多寂寞啊�！�
　　“別啊，染�！蔽野矒岬嘏呐乃f，“這不這次去都把事兒結(jié)了嘛。我正式接管公司亞太地區(qū)，以后不用隔三岔五往美國(guó)跑了。”
　　他哼一聲，不再理我，微微彎起的嘴角卻怎么也藏不住。
　　我失笑地看著他。兀然想起什么，把小瓶遞給他，說：“喏，你想要的那款發(fā)膠。我順道幫你帶回來了�！�
　　他眼睛一亮，喜滋滋地奪過瓶子研究起來。
　　笨蛋。我溫柔地想。不過，一直這樣也不錯(cuò)。

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　　附原文
　　Lesson 11 Not guilty
　　Customs Officers are quite tolerant these days， but they can still stop you when you are going through the Green Channel and have nothing to declare. Even really honest people are often made to feel guilty. The hardened professional smuggler， on the other hand， is never troubled by such feelings， even if he has five hundred gold watches hidden in his suitcase. When I returned form abroad recently， a particularly officious young Customs Officer clearly regarded me as a smuggler.
　　'Have you anything to declare？' he asked， looking me in the eye.
　　'No'， I answered confidently.
　　'Would you mind unlocking this suitcase please？'
　　'Not at all，' I answered.
　　The Officer went through the case with great care. All the thing I had packed so carefully were soon in a dreadful mess. I felt sure I would never be able to close the case again. Suddenly， I saw the Officer's face light up. He had spotted a tiny bottle at the bottom of my case and he pounced on it with delight.
　　'Perfume， eh？' he asked sarcastically. 'You should have declared that. Perfume is not exempt from import duty.'
　　'But it isn't perfume，' I said. 'It's hair gel.' Then I added with a smile， 'It's a strange mixture I make myself. '
　　As I expected， he did not believe me.
　　'Try it！' I said encouragingly.
　　The officer unscrewed the cap and put the bottle to his nostrils. He was greeted by an unpleasant smell which convinced him that I was telling the truth. A few minutes later， I was able to hurry away with precious chalk marks on my baggage.

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